| Sick and tired. |
[Dec. 20th, 2009|09:31 pm] |
Today I watched Avatar and came down with a fever while watching it. Guess it was that good? Haha. But, seriously, it really was a good movie. I only wish that the movie theater wasn't so cold, or that I had a really warm, thick jacket on. (I was wearing a cardigan though.)
I am really annoyed that I am sick again. Right after the movie, we went straight home, and I went straight to bed, where I felt my body's temperature steadily climb as I tried to get some sleep. I can somehow enjoy the experience of getting slow-cooked by my own body heat, but I wish that I didn't get sick so often. 2009's been a tough year, and I've never experienced getting so sick so many times. The message that comes across, for me, is I am not strong enough.
Or, sometimes, it's simply I am not enough.
I wrestle with such thoughts everyday. Sometimes I feel that, despite all the challenges, I have not just survived, but have triumphed. And sometimes I feel utterly defeated. I have never felt so paranoid, so insecure, so high-strung, so alone, and so... criticized. For my every move.
I feel like my body's falling apart under all the stress. People left and right tell me to just enjoy it, to not let the pressure get to me. I wish I could. I want to. I really do. Sometimes I do, but...
There are times when I feel like a complete failure, and that I must redeem myself before this school year ends. This desire has slowly been eating away at my faith. And my health.
Amazing Grace, save me, please. |
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| the day just keeps getting better and better :) |
[Dec. 18th, 2009|11:31 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | happy | ] | 1. This morning, I played frisbee with Merri, Alvin, and some of Alvin's friends at the Sunken Garden. Twas my first time to play Ultimate Frisbee again after High School. Twas also my first time to play Frisbee at the Sunken Garden.
Twas hot; I think I got dark. I got tired quickly; I'm so out of shape. Hahaha!
I wanna do this regularly, play frisbee, prolly exercise. It's so much fun and I always leave with a smile on my face. :)
2. I opened my YM. I saw that daddy left an offline message. It says that he's leaving for the Phils TONIGHT! :D He's arriving tomorrow morning!!! :D YAAAAAAAAY!!!!
I missed daddy so much. I'm so glad he'll be spending Christmas with us here.
Things I'm looking forward to today: 1. ASAPhil Buddy Bidding 2. Pimping of Lantern Shirts (have to buy the stuff pa) 3. Exchange gift-giving with the batch (have to buy the gift pa! D:) 4. LALALALANTERN PARADE!!! 5. Using dad's camera. Heehee! 6. Arki party
Don't know how to end this, so I'll just end with these... :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D |
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| wishlist |
[Dec. 17th, 2009|10:24 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | hopeful | ] | hi daddy! i hope you still read my blog. :p
In an effort to be Christmas-y, here are a few 30 things I want this Christmas... (random things in random order) - White External Hard Drive
- New shoes
- Comfy durable slippers.
- Free Starbs drink/s
- Contact Lens
- New school bags
- CAD software that's compatible with Mac OS X
- the old Mac mouse
The Beatles' White Album (orig CD, pls) A VERY NOISY ALARM CLOCK (yung parang school bell yung alarm)- Cute/Pretty shirts
- My old La Salle jacket. :( ... or anything with the same style and fit
- Up Dharma Down CDs
- Treat to Omakase
- 1 giant bilao of (Omakase's or my sister's) California Maki
- Colorful Helium-filled balloons
- Lilies
- Earphones for my phone
- SPA treatment
- Nail art *ahem*Dianneyoupromised*ahem*
the Eraserheads' Anthology CDs A PRETTY AND DURABLE WATCH- DMB's Under the Table and Dreaming CD
- Subscription to BluPrint (or back issues, na wala pa ako)
- the will to exercise and lessen fatty foods
- Non-pro license
- Architecture booksssssss
- Kurecolor Markers (the colors that I don't have)
- A tattoo
- New swimsuit
- Good Pants
- to see some of my friends (especially those I haven't seen in a long time!) and family members this Christmas
if you're feeling generous, pls, don't be shy to give or sponsor for some of those things. =))
[edit] I just remembered some things that I need, hence I had to cross out some things off the list. |
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